Day 7: The Holiday Work Party

Today’s the day: Bowling Holiday Work Party.  Yikes.  I think I’ll be ok.  I usually can do ok, eating-wise, in public situations like this, as there are people watching (judging, says my cynical self), so my willpower can stay high.  (my issues are more when I’m alone and no one is around!).  I’m more concerned about the bowling part.  I’m not a good bowler, and I’m not crazy about the shoes for a number of reasons.  First, the ‘are they clean’ thing and second, I have big feet so I always end up in men’s shoes.  I don’t care what anyone says – you can tell they are mens shoes.  I am also a socially awkward penguin and not a fan of forced socialization or small talk.  Perhaps I should view this as an exercise is letting go of my insecurities and being more in the moment.

socially awkaward penguin

In other news, I need to start scouring Pintrest and the Interwebs for recipes to make this week, and start putting together a game plan for Christmas week at my parents house.  The Kindle version of the Well Fed cookbook  was on sale for $1.99 yesterday, so I bought that and found a few things I might try.

I threw the raisins out.  They are destructive to my efforts.  I can’t have ‘finger food’ around because my stop button is broken.  I just keep diving in for handful after handful.  It’s not productive and reinforces bad habits.  I’m not eating because I’m hungry, I’m eating because it’s something to do while watching TV, cooking, reading, etc.  No more finger food for the next 23 days.

I’m not doing food pics today because it’s all repeats.  Nothing exciting.  I need to get something new in rotation because I might be getting a little bored with some leftovers.

Breakfast: 7 am, 3 eggs, kielbasa sausage, zucchini (the usual!)  I am such a creature of habit, which is why it’ so hard for me to break bad habits, and to recognize which ones really are bad.

The party: 11:30 am – 2 pm.  A few carrots, celery, tomatoes, some pulled pork and grilled chicken.  Here’s a life lesson for you:  It’s probably best to not eat chicken from a bowling alley.  It did not sit well with my tummy.  My salad idea fell apart, and I actually had a weak moment.  I got hungry around 10, so I went downstairs and bought a packet of trail mix.  It was bad on two counts: a) my habit of picking at a bag of food until it’s gone, and b) I know it had all sorts of bad stuff on it.  I need to be be more prepared!  I had a hard boiled egg, but it was in the car.  I was so hungry that I knew it wouldn’t last for me, either.  I plowed through the trail mix, so by the time I got to the party I wasn’t as hungry as I was earlier.

It was interesting, it wasn’t that hard to stay away from the food at the party.  It kind of looked gross, what with being in a bowling alley, and my group was on the other side of the room from where the food was set-up, so it was fairly effortless to stay away.  The hard part came after I was leaving and mentally getting ready for the weekend.  This is normally when I’d not worry about dinner and stop and pick something up (a sub, pizza, or something likewise) and perhaps even a bottle of wine to tide me over for the few days.

The party itself was actually fun, too.  I get myself so worked up about these things, I need to just relax.  We bowled a couple games (I did 112 on one and 101 on another).  Bowling is hard!  It really does take some skill and coordination to do well at it.  But, not for me.  I’m not a bowler for the same reason I’m not a golfer – too frustrating, and you stay still for too long.

On my way home, it started to sink in just how hard it’s going to be during Christmas to stay away from the goodies.  I called my parents and my mom was making Christmas cookies.  She started describing them and I could just picture them and the display on Christmas Eve.  Then I started thinking more – my sister’s probably going to want to drink a night or two over break.  That’s when it dawned on me just how much strength and willpower I’m going to need over the next few weeks.  I know in my brain that what I’m doing is right, but I can see how falling back into old habits will be so easy to do.  This weekend I normally am baking tons and tons of Christmas cookies, drinking a lot of wine and watching Christmas movies.  This weekend, I’ll have a normalish weekend, but I’ll still watch the Christmas movies.  Sober.

Early dinner: 4:30 pm, more cabbage soup with kielbasa and sauteed mushrooms.  I’ll probably have something small later tonight, but I was starving.  I only had that little bit of pulled pork and the awful chicken for lunch, so I figured I could eat a little early.

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